WOUND REOPENED

Your birthday is coming up. I do not cry as often, and when I do, it is out of a sublime mix of joy, peace and a bit of sadness for you, for what you are missing. When I think of you and your children I am reminded strongly of how much God loves His children and cares for them in spite of us and in spite of what we do wrong. What a blessing! Your children are soooo good! I cannot begin to justly describe their goodness, kindness, beauty, sense of humor and their love of God. They are EVERYTHING you would have wanted them to be and then more. I know you would be so proud of them. I am. And Johncito, I am so glad that they had a godly man to show them and teach them the things you would have wanted to teach them yourself. I still have memories of you with them when they were little and of conversations we had. You were a good man with a heart of gold. I still miss you. Your name comes up in every family gathering and I tear up. Harold is not you, but if you could have chosen anyone to replace you, I think you would have chosen him. He treats your children as if they were his (and they are), and treats us (your sisters) as if we were his sisters, and we love him back for you and for us. I would not be surprised if he told us that in his heart he thinks of you and how you are missing these beautiful kids and thinks of giving them a double portion of love – one in your name. I am a grandma, Johncito. One of my grandchildren’s grandma is probably up there with you. When I hold that grandbaby I think of her and how she would love to love on this child—and I love him for both of us. I wonder if Harold does the same. His heart is so tender- full of love and pride for your kids. He speaks of them and his eyes tear up and his voice quivers a bit sometimes. He considers their needs and sacrifices himself for them. He counsels them and provides for them. I just wanted to tell you that, my dear brother. You will always be missed, but your children are doing ok. Isn’t God soooooo GOOD!? Your boy is married. We just attended his wedding this week. Oh! he looks soooo much like you. God has blessed him with a sweet girl (like Cat Steven’s” hard-headed –woman” –sweet ☺) and an awesome Christian family. His dad’s father married them. The wedding homily was unique. He used Titus 2 to charge both the bride and groom with living a godly marriage. Nice! He also said something so obvious, and yet I had never heard it said before: the woman gives herself so totally to the groom, that not only does she leave her family behind, she leaves her name behind and takes on the groom’s name. (He said it much better than I have) Though it is obvious, for the first time it struck me as how a husband and wife are now one! Two of your girls are equally blessed with wonderful Christian husbands… and their weddings were equally beautiful. It is truly a blessing when we are with the family, Johncito. Your Kristie is amazing. They all are, but Kristie is strong, Johncito. An amazing woman! (I want to grow up to be her—any of them, really) Each of your children has a unique personality and they have all found their gifts and they honor the LORD with their gifts. They ARE gifts to us. I love you, brother. Still miss you.